I don't believe in miracles anymore, I said to myself the other day. But, I was wrong. You walked into my life and changed it forever You are the best thing that has happened to me so far. You made me believe again and have made all the ordinary things in life more precious and beautiful. You came to me and saved me when I was deepest in my dark well. Like a firefly, I held on to you,imploring you to hug me so tight and never let go. You were mine when I truly felt abandoned by the whole world. You helped me to keep my sanity with your unconditional love. I truly must have done something really good in my past lives that God has sent you to me.
Look into my heart, for there is nothing to hide. Just peek into my eyes and and you will know what I am trying to tell you. I feel your presence around me all the time. There's no love like your love. You form a part of my life, and your presence has filled me with contentment. Life has never been so beautiful and love so synonymous with all positive feelings. I know you are perfect, and we both make a pair. I know you are there for me when everything in my life goes haywire. You are constant. I can't help this feeling, I feel cocooned in your love. Because of love I know you better. I know I am lost forever. And I know that you feel it too. You make me feel that I need to be holding you, feeling you, next to me.
I while away my time, remembering those moments we spend together. The nights are worse than the days. They are endless, and when I do sleep my dreams are filled with you. And, I have had the same dream from the time I met you. I have only wanted one thing from you, and I haven't stopped wanting it. I will never ask for anything more.
Yes, it's true, I miss you every single moment of my life. I have so much to share and tell you. With you near me, everything seems to be easy. Accept my love, my life and I am there for you forever. There's nothing I want more, but to spend the rest of my life in your arms. Let the earth and sky coalesce, let us be one...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
where have you gone...
The afternoon sunlight fades away,
The night unfolds its magic charm under
a starlight canopy,
I want to be with you, I can't find you
Where have you gone my love?
I remember the sweet melodies of the bygone days,
The time we sat and gazed at the stars together,
But the dark clouds have hidden the sun,
and the night is slowly weaving its charm.
Can I write your name on my empty heart?
Can I utter your name in every breath I take?
Can you slowly whisper it in my ears.....
Slowly the sunlight fades away...
The night unfolds its charm
The night is empty, bereft of you.
Even if I want you, I can't find you..
'Coz I don't know where you have gone my love.
Slowly the sunlight fades away..
The night unfolds its magic charm under
a starlight canopy,
I want to be with you, I can't find you
Where have you gone my love?
I remember the sweet melodies of the bygone days,
The time we sat and gazed at the stars together,
But the dark clouds have hidden the sun,
and the night is slowly weaving its charm.
Can I write your name on my empty heart?
Can I utter your name in every breath I take?
Can you slowly whisper it in my ears.....
Slowly the sunlight fades away...
The night unfolds its charm
The night is empty, bereft of you.
Even if I want you, I can't find you..
'Coz I don't know where you have gone my love.
Slowly the sunlight fades away..
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Just a dream...
Time seems to have frozen, slowly melting and morphing into a slow motion dream. My heart is waiting for something to happen. I wake up, filled with thoughts of him. Sometimes it is like he is inside my head, sometimes in my heart... I feel this wave of deep enthrallment, the connection between him and me.
I feel like I am losing a piece of myself or at least who I thought I was. I wish I could describe this overpowering chemistry, the deep attachment. I walk as if in a dream. I have this gut feeling..... I am in the throes of that particular emotion, which everyone falls into, once in their lifetime.
Phew! Love! That's it!....and I walked straight into it with my eyes open. I am happy. I am safe. He has become a part of me. I feel his power running through my body, like the blood in my veins. I can feel his arms around me, suffusing me with love and warmth. He has entered my soul, my very being. As long as I am close to him, as long as I can hear him, nothing can go wrong. These are the messages love is trying to send me at this moment. Each message is extremely simple, but extremely true.
I met him one wintry evening at his office. Dressed in a dark suit and a mint green tie, he was hunched over his work. As soon as he saw me stepping inside, he strode purposefully towards me and grasped my hands in a warm clasp. My eyes swept over the room, and I noticed that the temple of his reading glass matched his colourful tie. I remember asking him, “Do you coordinate your accessories with your outfit everyday?” He shook his head and replied in the negative. He stood tall amongst the paraphernalia, a man who ran his life and business with equal fervour. We chit-chatted, and our conversations ebbed and flowed, with intermittent silence. Soon, it was time for me to go home.
That chance meeting is emblazoned in my mind. My life had taken a sharp turn into a territory so strange that I could not explain the reason to myself. His words and the moments of the evening we spent together, have left my senses in a turmoil. His sweet, incomparable words had a strange effect on my heart. I knew I will never meet him again, but I couldn't prevent the little flicker of hope burning inside me.
Suddenly, my eyes opened. I woke up from my reverie, but my heart was still pounding against my chest. I knew it was all just a dream, and yet there was that hope, that desire for it to be something more than just a figment of my imagination...
I feel like I am losing a piece of myself or at least who I thought I was. I wish I could describe this overpowering chemistry, the deep attachment. I walk as if in a dream. I have this gut feeling..... I am in the throes of that particular emotion, which everyone falls into, once in their lifetime.
Phew! Love! That's it!....and I walked straight into it with my eyes open. I am happy. I am safe. He has become a part of me. I feel his power running through my body, like the blood in my veins. I can feel his arms around me, suffusing me with love and warmth. He has entered my soul, my very being. As long as I am close to him, as long as I can hear him, nothing can go wrong. These are the messages love is trying to send me at this moment. Each message is extremely simple, but extremely true.
I met him one wintry evening at his office. Dressed in a dark suit and a mint green tie, he was hunched over his work. As soon as he saw me stepping inside, he strode purposefully towards me and grasped my hands in a warm clasp. My eyes swept over the room, and I noticed that the temple of his reading glass matched his colourful tie. I remember asking him, “Do you coordinate your accessories with your outfit everyday?” He shook his head and replied in the negative. He stood tall amongst the paraphernalia, a man who ran his life and business with equal fervour. We chit-chatted, and our conversations ebbed and flowed, with intermittent silence. Soon, it was time for me to go home.
That chance meeting is emblazoned in my mind. My life had taken a sharp turn into a territory so strange that I could not explain the reason to myself. His words and the moments of the evening we spent together, have left my senses in a turmoil. His sweet, incomparable words had a strange effect on my heart. I knew I will never meet him again, but I couldn't prevent the little flicker of hope burning inside me.
Suddenly, my eyes opened. I woke up from my reverie, but my heart was still pounding against my chest. I knew it was all just a dream, and yet there was that hope, that desire for it to be something more than just a figment of my imagination...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Treasuring those moments..
A thousand thoughts are churning inside me since the past week. Good thoughts, happy thoughts … crazy apprehensions that has been bugging me day and night. I have been listless, languorous... moping around with terrible mood swings. The world around me is crumbling slowly, flaking away. What is it? I asked myself. What's wrong? Why am I so restless? What am I looking for?
Sigh! If only I could get to the heart of the matter.
The days slip into evenings, and the night creeps in slowly, embracing everything into its fold. The lights begin to dim and darken and the craggy mountaintops cast deep shadows. The fireflies weave their magic between the trees and tangled branches. But I am alone and anxious. I feel my chest swell up with a familiar anxiety. I wait, eagerly hoping for something to unfold.
I tried to pin down the cause for my feelings and extreme emotions. I flash-backed to the happenings of the last couple of days. Nothing captivated my interest in particular or in general. I'd been to places for a string of assignments and met a couple of friends after work. And as usual was bombarded with friend requests from unknown people on FB, twitter and my other social networking site accounts. Oh! I almost forgot to mention the dinner date with my friend. He messaged me on a particular evening, asking me to join him for dinner. 'Nothing special, just a lot of catching up to do.'
As dusk fell, a message blinked on my BB: 'Here'. I raced down the stairs to the waiting car. After that, everything's a blur. I do remember snatches of our conversation: 'You have put on weight, I am flying back next month...' The latest gossip followed by drinks, dinner, sushi and a long drive to Mulshi. The drive was truly out of this world. Following the winding path, the car sped across to the top of the mountain. And at the bottom lay the still, gleaming river, surrounded by tall trees that seem to be reaching out to touch the sky, their branches joining hands to shade the road. The wind gently whispered, dispersing leaves and disturbing the calmness, sending infinite ripples across the lake. It was a quiet moment on a quiet evening. There was no one else around. We were transported to a dream world by those whispers of nature, the wind through the trees, and the chorus of night crickets.
It's been a couple of days since then.
Suddenly, the BB blinks, interrupting across my thoughts. I smile... The restlessness is gone.
Sigh! If only I could get to the heart of the matter.
The days slip into evenings, and the night creeps in slowly, embracing everything into its fold. The lights begin to dim and darken and the craggy mountaintops cast deep shadows. The fireflies weave their magic between the trees and tangled branches. But I am alone and anxious. I feel my chest swell up with a familiar anxiety. I wait, eagerly hoping for something to unfold.
I tried to pin down the cause for my feelings and extreme emotions. I flash-backed to the happenings of the last couple of days. Nothing captivated my interest in particular or in general. I'd been to places for a string of assignments and met a couple of friends after work. And as usual was bombarded with friend requests from unknown people on FB, twitter and my other social networking site accounts. Oh! I almost forgot to mention the dinner date with my friend. He messaged me on a particular evening, asking me to join him for dinner. 'Nothing special, just a lot of catching up to do.'
As dusk fell, a message blinked on my BB: 'Here'. I raced down the stairs to the waiting car. After that, everything's a blur. I do remember snatches of our conversation: 'You have put on weight, I am flying back next month...' The latest gossip followed by drinks, dinner, sushi and a long drive to Mulshi. The drive was truly out of this world. Following the winding path, the car sped across to the top of the mountain. And at the bottom lay the still, gleaming river, surrounded by tall trees that seem to be reaching out to touch the sky, their branches joining hands to shade the road. The wind gently whispered, dispersing leaves and disturbing the calmness, sending infinite ripples across the lake. It was a quiet moment on a quiet evening. There was no one else around. We were transported to a dream world by those whispers of nature, the wind through the trees, and the chorus of night crickets.
It's been a couple of days since then.
Suddenly, the BB blinks, interrupting across my thoughts. I smile... The restlessness is gone.
waiting
I have to do something, something that would make the time pass, that would help me wait. Wait! This is the first lesson, I have to learn about love. The days drag along, and you make thousand plans in your mind. You imagine every possible conversation you had or going to have. You promise to change yourself in certain ways and you feel more and more anxious waiting for the cell to ring or a sms to come through. But by then , you realize that the day has passed, and you are still waiting. The hour of waiting has transformed into tension, the tension has become fear,and fear makes you tremble. If only the phone would ring...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
a page from my diary
Ramifications of rain...
Hey it’s raining! Rain! The sound of million angels’ tap dancing on the head of a pin. The chilly smell of a sad white rose in the beast’s garden. It is raining…
While returning home from office I thought about the ramifications of rain this year. Rain! It was a relief from the dry spell and the scorching heat of the sun…the past few weeks had been a nightmare. And this afternoon, it finally happened, I was not speaking it loud incase I jinxed myself, but it happened anyway.The heavens opened up and the rain came down in sleets.
I was half lying, half asleep watching some whodunit show on HBO, when the TV went poof, pitching the room into abject darkness. Then the fan and Ac grounded to a halt. Now you could hear nothing, but the pure clatter of rain-thousands of ants wearing horse shoes marching down a cobble street. The stillness was deafening.
After the rains stopped, the whole world smelled different. The fresh smell of wet flowers, the squeaky clean leaves and the smell of fresh earth, as well as the revolting smell of the rejuvenated micro organisms in the rotting piles of trash. I could also smell the vehicular fumes piercing more distinctly through the fresh draft of rain dragged air. The smell of a new Jeffery Archer’s book in my hand. The smell of old memories exhumed from their cardiac graves.
But I know this coat of romanticism will fade, as soon as the torrent rises and streets start getting flooded. What does the working man do then? In my case it is simple. If Mohammed is stuck n the rain and cannot come to the mountain, perhaps the mountain can move in with Mohammed. It is very comfortable working staying and working from home, perhaps too comfortable at times…
Hey it’s raining! Rain! The sound of million angels’ tap dancing on the head of a pin. The chilly smell of a sad white rose in the beast’s garden. It is raining…
While returning home from office I thought about the ramifications of rain this year. Rain! It was a relief from the dry spell and the scorching heat of the sun…the past few weeks had been a nightmare. And this afternoon, it finally happened, I was not speaking it loud incase I jinxed myself, but it happened anyway.The heavens opened up and the rain came down in sleets.
I was half lying, half asleep watching some whodunit show on HBO, when the TV went poof, pitching the room into abject darkness. Then the fan and Ac grounded to a halt. Now you could hear nothing, but the pure clatter of rain-thousands of ants wearing horse shoes marching down a cobble street. The stillness was deafening.
After the rains stopped, the whole world smelled different. The fresh smell of wet flowers, the squeaky clean leaves and the smell of fresh earth, as well as the revolting smell of the rejuvenated micro organisms in the rotting piles of trash. I could also smell the vehicular fumes piercing more distinctly through the fresh draft of rain dragged air. The smell of a new Jeffery Archer’s book in my hand. The smell of old memories exhumed from their cardiac graves.
But I know this coat of romanticism will fade, as soon as the torrent rises and streets start getting flooded. What does the working man do then? In my case it is simple. If Mohammed is stuck n the rain and cannot come to the mountain, perhaps the mountain can move in with Mohammed. It is very comfortable working staying and working from home, perhaps too comfortable at times…
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